As a big fan of Home and Away growing up, I never thought I’d still be watching the show 15 years on since the heyday of the Summer Bay Stalker, but there’s something about the pandemic that has gotten me back into the primetime TV show.
Maybe it’s because it airs just before The Bachelor begins, or maybe it’s because I need to watch something without it being a major sacrifice while I eat dinner. Home and Away has filled a nightly void in my life somehow and now, since March, I’ve been watching mostly daily, I’ve come to know this whole new modern age of Summer Bay babes.
Look, to be frank, my first complaint is that at the moment, the bay is very old. Gone are the days of paternity tests that all the hot blondes had to take to choose who was going to be the hot blonde daddy of their dreams in their early twenties. We just have a few late-teen characters, and somewhere in the 30something demographic, the majority are settling down. The old man’s energy was never more prominent in the Bay, even between Alf and John.
The harbor, however, is slowly waking up to life in 2020. We’ve touched on sexuality, mental wellbeing, and also opened up to a somewhat more diverse cast with the inclusion of the Paratas in the episodes this year. Small steps, but a much better effort than the early ’00s, whitewashed.
So while I’ve been reacquainted with the Bay, I’ve decided that it’s now time to rate the characters from worst to best in the 2020 season, and yes, Colby’s new storyline driving me bonkers brought this on. Let’s get into it directly.
Here’s the current 2020 cast of Home and Away ranked from most annoying to least.
Colby is right now the most irritating character in the Bay, frankly. He’s extremely self-righteous, and I understand that he killed his dad to protect his sister, but it doesn’t mean that any time she displays some Pain about her crap life, he should go off on Bella! Even though he may be the dirtiest cop to exist in the Bay, the way he targeted the Paratas? Hey, grow up!!!
Justin seems very placid, but his “I know best attitude was suffocating while Tori was going through her problems with Jasmine and the baby. He made it worse by not helping her adequately during the Jasmine saga instead of being there for his sister after they had just lost their brother (not to mention the fact that Tori was in a coma and missing out on the first parts of her daughter’s life). He will not listen to her medical advice now! Justin, make yourself Colby and GROW UP!
I truly don’t know what we’re meant to get out of watching the storyline of an old, heterosexual man who’s a big filthy gossip. The photo says it all.
I don’t know what we’re going to get out of the plot of Marilyn, who just smiles kindly at everyone at the diner, and she always looks sort of cheerful even though she’s sad.
Bloody hell, Jasmine was through a wringer, that’s not to be denied. Perhaps she might become more of a loveable character if she caught a break, but at the moment she’s either flying off the handle or moping around making life miserable for people trying to support her. The one thing I’m trying to say is that if she ever gets a good luck run, Jasmine has the potential to make it higher up this list and Sam Frost is doing an amazing job of portraying her.
I mean, Alf is a national treasure, a Summer Bay icon, but there’s only so much drama he can bring to the Bay.
Just sort it out Mac! Are you into Ari or into Tane?! Why do you want to hook up with both brothers anyway?! GET IT TOGETHER.
He’s only placed this high because he’s an OG and came back as a Daddy Detective. Oh, and also, because he’s super suss on Colby and that’s what Colby deserves.
Roo is a nice presence, strong, sort of like a Leah 2.0, but in her life she could do with some spice. (Which I’m assuming comes with the Daddy twin. You know what I’m talking about if you watch the show, if you don’t, that’s on you.)
Ryder is a solid character, and has had some good growth. The whole Dad storyline was sad, but Ryder deserves more with life too. Give the kid another love story or something.
Is Summer Bay, without Irene, even a place? Sure, Irene could do with a storyline that’s not her monster kids or her alcoholism, but she’s a staple of Summer Bay and the best foster mother anyone ever had. Without Irene, the show obviously can’t exist, so who else will take in the stray, troubled kids who wash up on the beach? Just. Exactly.
A stronger version of Ryder is Nikau (no offence Ryder). A sweet boy, who has had a rough childhood of sorts and can be led astray by his uncles, brings back those Casey Braxton vibes. I hope he doesn’t get the ending (#CaseyDeservedBetter) that Casey did.
Poor Tori was really through it recently, and she’s going to have a hot new romance with a new doctor in town, rumor has it. Tori is a Summer Bay MVP, rational, reassuring, nice in an emergency, and I think this new relationship will spice up her storyline though often sweetly vanilla. Five stars for Tori.
Funny, feisty, faithful friend, and queer queen, Willow. We can only hope that the show discusses Willow’s sexuality and relationships further because, you know, it’s 2020 and we don’t care about the marital problems of John and Marilyn. Boring!-Boring! Send us Willow as a Bachelorette of her own and dating a pool of guys and ladies. Give what they want to the people!
Ari has an unshakeable presence about him that breathes fresh life into the Bay, apart from being exceptionally attractive and looking like the kind of guy that would give good hugs when you’re sad. But we need to see more of his storyline that does not revolve around him always looking too frustrated to really ramp him up into the top three-tier. Like, show me Ari carrying a tiny baby or something like that. My diminutive little baby? I’m sorry. Who said it?
For once, Bella is really an interesting teen character, and we love seeing it. In the surf, she’s not flicking her long blonde hair around and pretending to drown to get the attention of Chris Hemsworth or something. She’s complicated, her storylines have discussed her mental health challenges, she’s shown a lot of development and improvement, and now she’s got a cute storyline with Nikau. We’re stan-Bella!
Somehow, Leah somehow manages to be the anchor that keeps the Bay together after everything she’s been through. Without Leah, imagining this show is like imagining Summer Bay every 9-12 months without a disastrous accident. It’s just not going to be the same.
Tane is too hot to be irritating, sorry for the rules alone. He’s also the only H&A character with a bit of spice, a bit of cheek, a bit of humour right now. And yes, that’s enough to get you into the characters of the top three.
Dean & Ziggy
I couldn’t distinguish them, which means it’s best not to separate them at home and abroad. They’re my H&A ride or my death. I would find it harder if they split up than any of my own personal breakups. They are the future of Summer Bay, and with their own mini-Dean and Ziggys, we need to be thankful.